31/1 - Almost free of January
Finally, this month-long luteal phase comes to an end
From pop culture
Celebrities can now buy INSURANCE to protect them from getting cancelled… a big eye roll moment that some will go to any extend to avoid accountability or educating themselves.
Julia Fox poses nude on the subway for M.A.C. - iconic
Cher Lloyd (by Cher Lloyd) climbs out of the ‘I wonder what happened to X’ pile of celebs and did a long old interview about her time on the X-Factor, early career and THAT meme, all in service of promoting her return to music. In the interview she reveals that she was told to seduce Justin Bieber as a teen.
Dua Lipa and Callum Turner PDA’ed in Paris - everyone still talking about their likely engagement - my cynical brain wonders whether it’s a PR stunt…
Charli XCX launches her own production company: Studio365. The first film, The Moment, is scored by A.G. Cook, co-written and will star Charli herself.
BBC apologises for ‘culture of silence’ around the complaints about Russell Brand’s behaviour, which have been described as ‘horrendous’ by Lisa Nandy. The BBC spent an alarming £662,062 on the review. No real action appears to yet have been taken, and by actions I specifically mean no one has taken away Brand’s camera and stopped him posting videos with titles like these:
The new Bridget Jones (Mad About the Boy) comes out 14 February - I love the franchise but even I can admit it’s probably time we packed this one in … having said that, Renée has already said she hopes its not the last, so who knows?
Rihanna supports A$AP at his gun assault trial - not good optics for her and also ANYTHING TO AVOID BEING IN THE STUDIO
What with Ethel Cain’s haunting Perverts, the release of Nosferatu and upcoming release of Dracula, the gothic is back, but why? The Gothic, with its crumbling castles, is linked to moments of social change and to the erosion of repressive orders. The old powers fighting the new is a fitting genre for this age of reactionary patriarchal fascist biting back against progress.
From the internet
A woman found a photo of her armpit on 4chan, AKA the cesspit of the internet - the woman’s photos were lifted from her instagram account and pasted on 4chan, all with awful comments underneath. The platform removed the images but the trend continues.
Caroline Calloway seems to be making a return to social media, having recently featured in a video with the woman who choreographed Charli’s Apple dance. You have been warned.
A new genre of book is going viral and it’s not fairy smut - it’s a 70s post-apocalyptic feminist classic: Jacqueline Harpman’s I Who Have Never Known Men about 39 women imprisoned in underground cages, constantly monitored by a group of male guards. Pop off Gen z political enlightenment
If you work in marketing/advertising, this is a nice guide to branding.
Remember Yahoo!? That boomer browser you used on your first computer? They’re trying to rebrand to be cool again. Unfortunately their home page still reminds me of 2002 so they may need to go back to the drawing board.
From brands and things
The Samsung ‘Ballie’, a home robot that rolls about and apparently helps you around the house even though it has no limbs, could be released this year. If I’m going to allow a tech corporation to see INSIDE my home, I at least want it to hoover and take the bins out? Other than the video updates of pets (which are always welcome) it doesn’t feel like it’s adding value in ways that couldn’t be done from a phone to justify giving access to our private lives.
‘Connecting to and managing home appliances […] to provide smarter, more personalized services. Ballie provides peace of mind by sending video updates of pets or loved ones to users’ devices when they’re away […] From projecting workout videos on the wall or floor in an optimal size to playing music and answering phone calls, Ballie makes life at home more productive and enjoyable.’
In more dystopian tech news, these headphones will measure your focus levels - would you knowingly let people know that you are a procrastinator?
Snack brand, KIND, are promoting their treats with a campaign that celebrates ‘bed rotting.’ I’m surprised no one jumped on this sooner, given the the chokehold bed rotting has many of us in.
Prices in Spoons go up - a sign of the (bad) times - 15p for drinks and 30p for food.
From society
Setting the tone for the news this year:
Chancellor Rachel Reeves says young people need to ‘Step Up’ when it comes to finding work …. an incredibly thoughtless and idiotic thing for anyone to say, let alone the person who is charge of our economy. It’s a difficult market for any job hunter, but young people in particular lack career opportunities and guidance.
the only step up we should be doing The Office for National Statistics estimated last year that 15.1% of young men and 11.2% of young women were Neet, giving a total of 946,000.
Helpful advice came from the NVIDIA CEO speaking to young people which is that he said if he could learn anything it would be to code AI.
The COVID babies are starting school and reports indicate it’s not great - with some unable to climb staircases, others using Americanisms and a general lack of readiness for school, which 49% of teachers (out of a survey of 1000 in England and Wales) felt that the problem worsened in the past year. In Wales last September, 1 in 4 children starting Reception were not toilet trained. Some put it down to too much screen time, but we must consider the immense pressure on parents and lack of support for them in these tough times.
Shoplifting SOARS with nearly half a million offences counted last year (but they've not yet counted the times I logged it as 2 onions when it was actually 3.) Records are the highest since they began in 2003: A telling sign of people brought to their knees struggling with the economic conditions in this country. Even the fact that some of these crimes are violent does not detract from the fact that we MUST view this as an outcome of people struggling with poor living conditions.
Trump reverses Trans rights - beyond the executive order stating there are only two genders, he’s also: restricted gender care for people under 19, scrapped DEI protections, banned trans troops from serving openly in the military and he’s preparing to move trans prisoners into prisons that do not align with their gender identity (which will increase the risk of assault and sexual violence). In just over 10 days, these terrifying measures pose a serious threat to Trans lives in the USA.
More eerie stories about RFK. His COUSIN Caroline, wrote an letter to the senate begging that they do not to put him charge of the nation’s health because he puts animals in blenders:
Caroline recalled her cousin hanging out in “his basement, his garage, his dorm room” as a young man and “showing off how he put baby chickens and mice in the blender to feed his hawks.” (RFK Jr. has always loved talking about his falconry and hawk-training hobbies, which he has apparently pursued since he was 11.)
This is not the only animal-related crime we’ve heard about him. He once sawed off the head of a whale corpse and drove it home, dumped a dead bear cub in Central Park, and potentially barbecued and ate a dog (although he claims it was a goat).
It goes without saying that he’s also WILDLY unqualified for the job, as evidenced by his inability to deal with LOML Bernie Sander’s questioning:
Highlight of the week: Collective denial about the end of Traitors
In general we’re less fanatic in January, we’re sick of this never-ending month, so memes are not popping off as they do elsewhere in the year. The cast of this season’s the Traitors have been everywhere, on a host of podcasts, radio and TV shows. Most notably, Linda has been reenacting her best bits and This year’s sweetheart, Alexander, inspired the public to raise over £70,000 for MENCAP.